Go Speed Racer, Go!

Brett's birthday crew on the podium.

I went go-kart racing for the first time on Saturday morning for my friend Brett's birthday. It was awesome. I came in second place in both races and my times put me in the top 85% of all racers who had competed on the track. EVER.

I didn't realize how thrilling real-life Mario Kart would be. Since you're not supposed to make contact or throw turtle shells at other riders, you really have to plan your passes carefully and be aggressive. AND the steering is super tight so your arms are EXHAUSTED by the end of it. If real racing requires that much effort, I can't but help but think it should be considered a sport. 

The race itself was exciting, but my favorite part was the gear. They gave us full jumpsuits, neck braces, head-stockings, and helmets. Playing dress up is my favorite.

And it was the first time since I was in the second grade that I was mistaken for a boy. As you pick up your carts, two men check to make sure your safety gear is secure. After checking my helmet, the attendant grunted, "OK. This guy is ready to go" and patted me on the back. 

Gearing up.

I'm not surprised by this. The suits are completely formless and the helmets cover so much of your head that your eyes and nose are the only thing visible. And I'm a huge woman. 

Afterward, I told my friends about the case of mistaken identity and we created a great/terrible movie pitch. Here's the 1st act turn of this race car rom-com:

JOEL storms off the 2nd place podium and charges into the locker room. He throws his helmet at the locker and groans in frustration. HOT ROD enters, grinning. JOEL tears off his gloves, preparing to fight. HOT ROD removes her helmet. Long blonde hair falls down over her shoulders.

JOEL: Hot Rod is a...girl?!?!