Grad School

I've been behind on blog posts because just before Thanksgiving break I decided to apply to grad school. Since then, it has been a whirlwind of procrastination, list-making, note taking, and even **working** on the application requirements. 

The plan: to earn an MFA in screenwriting and playwriting from Northwestern University.

I've been working on a screenplay behind closed doors for over a year. As I was approaching the year mark, I took a step back to look at what I accomplished. It wasn't impressive. Like I'm about three hours of work ahead of where I was a year ago. When I realized this, I felt like sticking my head in a lion's cage at feeding time.

This realization catapulted me toward the decision to apply to grad school. I have all these dreams of the things I could create, but between working full time, writing sketch, acting, improvising, and being a normal person who makes her own dinner, there's no time to practice a craft, let alone master it.

So I've decided to go all in. If I am accepted to grad school, I will quit my full-time job, take out some loans, and kick grad school's ass. 

I don't have the money to do this but I'm not going to let that stop me. My current loans will be differed and if all works out, I'll have a better paying job on the other end. And if I don't, I'll deal with that. But I'm not going to let not having enough money prevent me from following my dream.

My concern is that if I don't take this time to invest in myself, I'm never going to get to where I want to be. And I couldn't live that way. I'd rather be eating Ramen noodles every day (not by choice) and being happy than slaving away on the upkeep at Millionaire Mountain.

I've enjoyed writing the essays. I compared the role of gender in Battlestar Galactica (1977) and Battlestar Galactica (2004). I pitched a sweet idea for a comedy about air guitar competitions. I read the screenplays to the Hurt Locker and Little Miss Sunshine. And I actually wrote 10 pages of the screenplay I've hardly batted an eye at over the course of 2012. I've done more in three weeks than an entire year and I feel more energized and confident than ever.

Even if I am not accepted, I won't leave empty handed; the process has taught me a lot about myself. I have clarified my values. I have found I exhibit grace under pressure, and I saw how much good work I'm capable of producing, even on a time-budget. And I know I believe in myself enough to take a financial risk.

Being accepted would be a tremendous blessing because it would be the gift of time (and other people's awesome knowledge) but either way, I'll ride this wave and focus on making something I'm really proud of.