Last night, my sketch group had our annual holiday party. My favorite party is always "Santa's Shitty Scene Swap" where you bring the worst sketch you've written in the past year (or ever) and it's read aloud, you're teased relentlessly, and then the scene is given to another person to rewrite. The person who wrote the most atrocious piece of "art", as voted on by guests at the party, wins a wolf bobble head trophy. (Note: no one has ever rewritten the scene they were given.)
This year, we started a new tradition: a chili cook off. Winning is important to me, so I put in extra effort and it paid off. I got 7/12 votes and gave a long victory speech where I gloated and did mic dropping bits. It was the happiest I've been all week and wet my appetite for more culinary domination.
I used a recipe I found online but then made so many additions, I felt I had created my own recipe. Here it is. Go forth and win a chili cook off!
Uncle Trevor's Pulled Pork Blue-Ribbon Winning Yum Yum Fun Time Chili
Ingredients:
1lb. pork loin
1 can kidney beans
1 can baked beans
1 can black beans
1 cup corn
1/2 cup (one small can) tomato paste
1 sweet onion, minced
3 cloves of garlic, minced
2 whole tomatoes, crushed
1 cup strongly brewed coffee <----- secret ingredient!
1/4 cup cream
1 cup medium salsa
1/2 cup water
1 cup grated cheese
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon siracha
2 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon chili powder
Directions:
Put everything in your crock pot. Stir it. And let it cook (LOW for 7 hours, or HIGH for 3-4 hours). Once the pork is cooked, shred it using two forks. Serves 6.
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