Home Sweet Minniahaha Home

Last weekend, I had the pleasure of taking my first camping trip in a few years. Some gals who share a birthday wrangled a whole bunch of friends to celebrate their births at a campground in Wisconsin called "Sweet Minnihaha." It wasn't exactly what I expected. In my mind's eye, I imagined  trees and hills and the need to hang our food from a tree at night. Instead, it was more of an open field where rednecks come to BBQ over a metal drum and listen to exactly what you think they listen to.

It definitely wasn't "roughing it", but it was a ton of fun and great to be outside with hardly any agenda at all. You eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, and wear whatever grungy clothes you feel like. (I wore short shorts and hiking boots like an outdoorsy Lara Croft.) And it was so nice to be disconnected from technology. From Friday night until Sunday morning, we were cell phone free. No one snapping a million photos, making Vines, texting people who aren't there, and using Facebook to see what everyone else is up to. It was a great exercise in living in the moment.

There were many highlights to the weekend, but here's a few:

• I was peeing in one of the bathroom stalls when a woman in the stall next to me whispered, "Sandy! Come here, girl!"and I saw a dog's feet enter the stall beside me. I thought, "Wouldn't it be great if the dog came in my stall?" Then it did!
• At the center of camp there's a bar that's teeming with happy hillbilliess on Saturday night. There was all different types of white rednecks with various forms of barbed-wire tattoos. And like an improv party in Chicago, it was 70% male, 30% female. We all did the Cupid Shuffle together.
• Everyone's there because of the karaoke. The coked-up KJ was his own spirit animal, only wearing a pair of blue jeans and a cowboy hat. It was like Kenny Chesney was cast in Magic Mike. I couldn't take my eyes off him. But eventually, a guy with glow-sticks jammed into his shorts and high-tops stumbled into and knocked over the KJ-table and we all knew it was over.
• Friends Jen and Bobby used their flashlights (we were camping ya'll!) to create a cool dance party in the corner of the barn-bar. It was just supposed to be a goofy bit where I flash-danced but when it ended, we realized it had caught the attention of a large group of men wearing cut-off tees. I felt like a picnic basket in Jellystone. On the way out, we had to pass through their circle. As we got close and I mentally prepared to deflect drunken come-ons, I felt Bobby take my hand and pretended to be my boyfriend. I was grateful.
• At night, we read "Scary Stories to Chill Your Bones" around the campfire. I told my favorite one ("Harold") where two brothers make a scarecrow doll that comes to life and skins one of the men alive. The writing is intended for kids so it's cheesy and over-the-top -and everyone always uses first and last names for some reason- and we had some good laughs at that. We were legitimately creeped out by the drawings.

Are your bones colder from having been chilled?

• I danced in a field under the stars with sparklers in hand.
• The stars out there are absolutely amazing. I fell asleep with my glasses on because I wanted to keep looking at them through the top of my tent.
• We tubed along the Sugar River, a VERY-slow moving river filled with drunks. Our 20-person group lashed ourselves together and floated as one giant amoeba downriver. The water was cool but not cold and the sun was warm but not hot. Goldilocks would have been in heaven. The course of the river would change and even though we were all tied to a specific person or two, we kept finding ourselves next to new companions - at the river's discretion of course. <---- big life metaphor.
• I had to pee really badly while on the river but I can't go in water for some reason. I don't know why - I'm not against it and if you give me the chance to pee in the shower you better believe I'll do it. So instead, I peed behind a fallen tree, all the while hoping no one would walk down the path. It was the longest stream of my life and made me feel like a cave woman. 

Pee Es. I'm happy I mentioned urinating twice in this post because when I was in the 3rd grade, we had to write some fan fiction for the book "The Phantom Tollbooth." I got in trouble with my teacher for writing a scene that included the boy peeing. But I wasn't trying to be "smart", I thought I was finally addressing the question we all had. You're telling me he's wandering in the woods and NOT peeing? You're wrong Ms. Green, it IS essential to the story. But now I'm an adult and I can write about urination all I want and no one can tell my mother about this!