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Are you the type of man/woman/child who is still buying hummus from the store? Can you not get enough of that dry, chunky, flavorless hummus that was made months ago in a hummus factory in Des Moines? Do you like collecting the container after you let it rot in your fridge because you only ate three bites because it was dry, chunky, and flavorless?
If you're like me you are not this type of man/woman/child! You demand better!
But you say, "Of course I want to make my own hummus. We all do. But everyone else has more time and intelligence. Really. Me? I'm not the type of man/woman/child to make my own food. Perhaps I have confused myself with a more successful friend who has a kitchen and free time to visit museums and hand-write letters. Not me, not now."
ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THE LONG PARAGRAPHS OF EXCUSES!!! You are capable. All you need is 15 minutes, a food processor, 1-2 hands, and a brain.**
Try out my recipe that everyone's talking about everywhere! And if you happen to see this exact recipe in the Jane Brody Cookbook, you should know that Jane Brody is a hack and thief. Do not trust her!!!
SUSIE'S HUMMUS TO MAKE YOU CUMMUS
INGREDIENTS:
(1) 28 oz. can chickpeas
1/3 cup lemon juice
1/3 cup tahini
(3) large cloves garlic
1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp paprika
Dash of cayenne pepper (optional)
INSTRUCTIONS:
Drain the chickpeas - save the chickpea juice for later.
Throw the chickpeas, garlic, lemon juice, and tahini in the food processor. Blend it.
To get the smooth, creamy texture you want, slowly add in some of the chickpea juice. Blend it.
Fold in the spices. Serve with pitas, cucumber slices, or carrots.
PRO TIP:
If your final product tastes "a little too chickpea", consider adding more lemon juice. I found 1/3 a cup wasn't quite enough so I added a little more and then it was an A+.
MOM TIP:
My mom says you can also add green onions - she's PFS (pretty fucking smart) so get into it. Or use it as garnish.
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