Mid-Year's Resolutions

"We need to start buying candy." - my roommate, Chris Tawfik

Sleep Eating

On Friday night, I put in ear plugs before going to bed. 

Three ours later, I ate one in one in my sleep.

The foamy texture and terrible flavor woke me up. "What the fuhhh....?" I mumbled, splitting it into my hand and then placing the soggy plug on the window sill.

Back to sleep.

I remember nothing but what's written above. There are no memories of being hungry or finding a "jellybean" or "Combos" in my sheets. Just waking up with an ear plug in my mouth. 

Riddles

I first read The Hobbit in the 7th grade. I was a piece of shit then (to be fair, everyone is at their worst in the 7th grade), and didn't appreciate this book at the time. Mostly because my English teacher loved it and she wasn't to be trusted because she only wore ankle-length skirts, had hairy arm pits, and was sensitive to smells. She was just so easy to dislike.

I loved the Lord of the Rings movies so when The Hobbit was released earlier this year, I thought I'd try reading the book before seeing the movie. I got side-lined with some other books and am just now making my way through it. It's good, but it's really written for a younger reader and at times is a little too dumb-dumb for me.

However, as soon as I got it in my head that I was too smart for this book, it put me in my place. At little set up is required so please bear with me. 

Bilbo has been asked to join a troupe of dwarves in their quest to reclaim treasures buried deep in the Lonely Mountain. While on the road, they spend a night in a cave that's secretly inhabited by goblins. The group is captured, all except for Bilbo. He escapes, but is accosted by Gollum besides an underground lake. Gollum challenges Bilbo to a riddle-off with the following stakes: if Bilbo wins, Gollum will show him the way out of the labyrinthine cave, but if Gollum wins, he gets to eat the hobbit.

So they exchange nearly 10 riddles back and forth... honestly, it's a lot of riddles. If I were the book's editor, I would have been like, "Alright, Mr. Tolkien. I LOVE the riddle battle but how about they just ask like 3 each? With all due respect, it's a lot of fucking riddles, sir."

The sad part is, I only got 1 of 9 correct. ONE. This is a KIDS book. And I'm an ADULT. 1 of 9.

And to further crush my self-esteem, after each one, either Bilbo or Gollum exclaims something like, "That's obvious!" or "Easy!" or "That old chestnut!" Or Tolkien himself, as narrator, will add a comment such as "I imagine you know the answer, of course, or can guess it as easy as winking..." 

Please tell me these riddles are hard for you adult readers, too. Here they are:

What has roots as nobody sees,
Is taller than trees
Up, up it goes, 
And yet never grows?
(Answer: a mountain.)

Thirty white horses on a red hill,
First they champ,
Then they stamp,
Then they stand still.
(Answer: teeth.)

Voiceless it cries,
Wingless it flutters,
Toothless bites,
Mouthless mutters.
(Answer: the wind.)

An eye in a blue face
Saw an eye in a green face
"That eye is like to this eye"
Said the first eye, 
"But in a low place
Not in a high place."
(Answer: sun on the daises.)

It cannot be seen, cannot be felt,
Cannot be heard, cannot be smelt.
It lies behind stars and under hills,
And empty holes it fills.
It comes first and follows after,
Ends life, kills laugher.
(Answer: dark.)

A box without hinges, key, or lid,
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.
(Answer: eggs - or 'eggses' if you're Gollum)

Alive without breath,
As cold as death;
Never thirsty, ever drinking,
All in mail never clinking.
(Answer: a fish.)

No-legs lay on one-leg, two-legs sat near on three-legs, four-legs got some.
(Answer: fish on a table, man at table sitting on a stool, the cat has the bones.)

This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grind hard stones to meal;
Slays kings, ruins towns,
And beats high mountain down.
(Answer: time.)

Earning Your Wings at Blackstone Bicycle Works

In preparation for Bike to Work Week (June 8-14), I was asked to write a bike-related blog post for Groupon. I chose to profile Blackstone Bicycle Works, where my friend Tyjuan works. T and I met at U of C but we haven't kept in touch much since graduation. It was great to reconnect with him for the interview and hear out about the good he's doing his community. 

Tyjuan Edwards (aka Top 50) , center bottom row, is a youth mentor at Blackstone Bicycle Works. 

The South Side is one of the most dangerous place to live in Chicago--if not the entire country. While the city has succeeded in disbanding some major gangs, there's been a resurgence as of late, structured around neighborhood territories. Instead of joining through some sort of initiation, new members are drafted into gangs simply based on where they live. But at Blackstone Bicycle Works, a full-service bike shop in the Woodlawn neighborhood, the affiliations are checked at the door. Here, an after-school youth program has kids from different neighborhoods working side-by-side to repair bikes-- and if they work hard, they can even earn their own set of wheels.

“Not every kid wants to gangbang. They don’t have options. If we give them better options, they’ll make better choices,” said Tyjuan Edwards (AKA Top 50), one of Blackstone’s youth mentors. “The program helps get kids off the streets and working toward something positive.”

What they’re working toward is a bike of their own. As part of the Earn-A-Bike Program, all kids who spend 25 hours doing volunteer repair work will earn a refurbished bike of their choosing, plus a helmet and lock. By that point, the participant know quite a bit about bike maintenance, but they also learn practical skills along the way, including how to conduct themselves in a busy bike shop. Once kids graduate to the next level, they are eligible to become paid crew members during summer break. The program is free of charge and available to all kids ages 8 through 18.

For the kids, earning the bike is of special importance. Edwards explained, “It’s like earning a set of wings. But instead of it being given to you, you earned it. And you see things differently when you earn them.”

Of course, it's about much more than the actual bicycle. The participants also build confidence as they learn new skills. And the program takes place in a safe environment--one that the neighborhood gangs respect. “It gives the kids a safe haven. And parents are happy knowing their kids are safe and not just hanging around," Edwards said.

In addition to Blackstone's Earn-A-Bike program, the not-for-profit runs an afterschool homework program. In the summer, breakfast and lunch are offered free of charge, a particularly important service as kids miss out on subsidized lunches that are only provided when school is in session. And this--despite all the fun he has working with bikes--is Edward’s favorite part of the job. “I like that I get to feed my whole community," he said.

You can get an inside look at Blackstone's operations and see their kids and staff in action here: