Friends, Best, You, and Me

Teaching the improv class at Kids in Sync is supposed to be an opportunity for the kids to work on their social skills, such as reading emotions and listening to others ideas, but I find I learn a lot from it, too. Rosie, who last week taught me about "fun math", gave me a great lesson in vulnerability this week.


While most of the kids were tearing around the room, throwing balls and swinging on stuff, Rosie was sitting off to the side, furiously coloring on a white board. After a few minutes, she came up to me and said, "I made you this." It was a drawing of the two of us, holding hands, surrounded by an enormous heart. On the left side it said "Friends" and on the right, "Best." There were arrows labeled "You" and "Me." She pointed to each one and said, "That's you" and "That's me." I melted. I told her I liked it very much, thanked her for making it, and took her picture holding it. 


What I admire so much is how she didn't worry that saying "We're best friends" was presumptuous. She didn't preface it with, "I don't know if you feel like this..." or over think it. She felt like we were best friends and she let me know. It was easy. 


As I've gotten older, I've become so cautious. An emotion will rise, followed by a desire to express myself, and then my emotional filter pipes up: "Don't say anything! If they don't feel the same way, you're going to look stupid!" The past few weeks I've been trying to be less cautious and run toward the fear instead of away from it. In SPEED, Keanu Reeves doesn't wave goodbye as sexy female hostage Sandra Bullock pull away in a subway car. He runs after her. He gets on top of the train, dodges a few bullets, wrestles and decapitates a crazed bomber, and gets the girl. 


A "broken heart" is a stupid phrase because a heart doesn't snap in two. It aches and changes shape at time, but eventually returns to it's natural state. So go ahead and put it out there. Ask someone on a date. Be the first to say 'I love you." Make a huge card for your best friend. The potential gain is worth the risk. And if it doesn't turn out how you wanted, your heart -and ego- will bounce back. 

There's a Rilo Kiley song called "More Adventurous" that has one of my favorite lyrics of all time: "With each broken heart, we should become more adventurous."